Everything is Santanderised

So, it has finally happened – the rebrand that has felt like pulling teeth is nearing an end. Abbey, Bradford & Bingley and Alliance & Leicester are becoming Santander and all will, it seems, bear that curious coffee bean design (apparently it is supposed to be a flaming torch, much like the Olympics) already being sported by branches of Abbey. One wonders if new customers will walk in expecting a latte, and walk out with an ISA and five-year fixed rate loan.

We here at News Hour have been expecting this for some time, and look forward to more expensive rebranding antics featuring Lewis Hamilton, or perhaps some dancing torches animated by Pixar. Perhaps the cast of Mysterious Cities Of Gold could be drafted in to explain the philosophy of our new masters. It may be all of the above – they have until 2010 to finish it.

Customers will survive – if they stomached the demise of Woolworth’s, they can handle this – but you have to fear for the staff ahead of all the ‘synergies’ such a union would offer. Tonight’s BBC report touched on it, coming from London’s swanky Kensington, where a branch of Abbey and Bradford & Bingley sit cheek by jowl on the high street. How common a picture is that, up and down the country? Will both survive, given pricey high street rents? Does the squirrel decide? Tough times, tough times…

Abbey squirrel switches to Santander?

When it comes to the long, drawn out process of rebranding, the slow morphing of Abbey into Santander surely has to take the crown. From adverts featuring Formula One racer Lewis Hamilton sporting the assorted badges (Abbey, Bradford & Bingley, etc), to the most recent attempt (above), one wonders how much longer it can go on. How much money is this all costing?

Perhaps the most insidious element of this case is the squirrel – his chest is emblazoned with an ‘S’ for Santander, not Abbey, despite the fact that it is Abbey’s product being offered (to the right of Abbey, out of shot, it says ‘Part of the Santander Group’). Was the squirrel once a happy branch worker at Abbey, since taken to Spain to be schooled in the ways of Santander? Was he like Howard from the Halifax, a man risen through the ranks to public greatness?

Who knows what happened to the happy couple who used to walk under the umbrella back in the days when Abbey/Santander was Abbey National building society. Who indeed. Was it this complicated when Marathon became Snickers? It’s not that we object to the change, but to the agonising process. What next? Will the old Abbey hedgehogs be dragged out wearing red capes with a big S on the back?