The director McG’s cinematic hobbling of the Terminator franchise seems to have robbed the nation’s killer cyborgs of their purpose. News Hour has received reports that one of the potentially lethal killing machines has been rounded up in a casino on the border of California and Nevada, shortly after arriving from the future, even before managing to secure itself any clothes.
Experts suggest that the machines have become depressed by their simplistic screen portrayal, and have lost all desire to target future leaders of the human resistance. Terminators all over the United States have been presenting considerably less challenge to law enforcement in recent weeks, and some have even been adapted into children’s rides at bigger brances of Walmart. It seems likely this incident will accelerate the increase of shame and listlessness felt by many of the machines.
News Hour recalls when the first Terminator turned up in 1984, and 28 people died, many of them at a police station; things got considerably worse in the great death waves of 1991 and 2003, with considerable damage to property both public and private.
Was the McG work truly so monotonous that Terminators across the country have been shamed into submission? The world will be a less colourful place as a result.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 