Christmas, Not Made In China

There might be sabotage on France’s rail system, but think about the nastiness predicated by stage workers on the little kiddies in New York. A force more evil than the Grinch himself has cast its shadow over the town: striking Broadway stagehands have brought his musical production to a standstill. While stage workers smoke, gripe and stare into the bottom of whisky bottles, small children will be screwing up their eyes to hold back the tears. These devils have no shame.

That’s not it, though. Yet another move could completely paralyse the American child’s already limping Christmas. In a reaction to China’s unfortunate line in hallucinatory toys, concerned parents Kerry and Andrew Mengler have launched the ‘Not Made In China’ store to allow god-fearing American families to steer clear of toys contaminated by the yellow peril. Here’s the problem, though. Most of them are made out of wood. Just how much does the modern child want wooden toys? Think of the tears as millions of youngsters go without the new robotic companions that traditionally accompany the modern Christmas.

Twenty four per cent of Americans think that the internet is a satisfactory substitute for a mate – for these brave American children, pioneers of the new social frontier, these robots are substitutes for friends. It’s an absolute disgrace that they should be denied their basic human rights.

Cynical readers might suggest that American toy firms sabotaged the Chinese production lines so as to throw their industry into turmoil, before taking advantage of the low dollar to undercut Asian exports, launching a new range of god-fearing, drug-free American toys. What a lot of tosh.