SharpEye on Words (2)
It was with great joy that a new raft of tantalisingly vague endorsements for boardcreeping were received in the News Hour offices. What fresh pieces of absurdity were being wrought on Johnny Programme and Sally Interval? What new indignities and anti-truth devices were being deployed to describe London’s glittering theatreland?
We begin with Under The Blue Sky, David Eldridge’s ‘funny and touching play‘ that starred an initially hobbled Catherine Tate. ‘Exceptionally strong cast… brilliant play’ said the Times, accompanied by a five-star rating. Well, all News Hour’s research team could find was a Sunday Times review that was more descriptive than critical. However, someone in the press office had helpfully scanned the Times review and posted it on the site. The quote is reworded slightly, but the sense is True. (‘Anna Mackmin’s cast is exceptionally strong.’) Those looking for ‘brilliant play’ will find it is similarly re-purposed from the headline, ‘brilliant school play’ (it is about teachers), a phrase that never crops up in the review and most likely came from the sub-editor, but works perfectly well. Most damning is the five-star rating when the original review clearly awards it four. Why even bother lying about that, or artificially conflating a five star review from another piece?
Next: Dirty Dancing, the classic coming of age movie converted to stage extravaganza, the promotional video for which has a bewildering obsession with marrows. We are told that the Observer calls it ‘The Biggest Live Theatre Sensation Of All Time’. An Obs preview from almost two years ago noted that: ‘It’s more of a fanzine than a show: none of it’s dirty – and there’s nowhere near enough dancing.’ Polly Vernon’s piece from more than a month previously is based on seeing the production in Hamburg, and the hefty advance sales for the coming London production. (To be fair, she saw it in German and was still enthusiastic, and there’s no denying that Dirty Dancing obsession exists.) The full quote is more cautious than that which adorns the ads, and is not strictly a review: ‘Dirty Dancing is shaping up to be the biggest live theatre sensation of all time.’ The standfirst for the piece claims it to be a ‘West End phenomenon’ which may have been a better choice.
Next: The Zorro musical at the Garrick, which comes equipped with no less than three supporting quotes. The first is from the Telegraph, and claims it to be an ‘insanely enjoyable musical’. Almost True. The quote actually reads: ‘this almost insanely enjoyable musical’ but goes on to say how fun it is, so we can’t really criticise them on sense. Next, the Guardian praises its ‘dazzling choreography’. True. The review also claims it to be an ‘an ebullient and thoroughly enjoyable musical’ and gives it four stars. Finally, the Mail calls it ‘Perfect summer family entertainment’. True. The full quote is ‘This show will make perfect summer family entertainment’, although the Mail makes play in both this and another piece of the difficulties in preview.
Out of the three, we grade the honesty of quotes in decreasing order:
1. Zorro (sounds like a fun show)
2. Dirty Dancing (it was not a review, as such)
3. Under The Blue Sky (why mislead on star ratings?)
See the previous round-up here.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 
