Like news but not, the celebrity world trundles relentlessly onward. Usually it is a messy affair, so it was nice this week to have at least a reported sense of completion. T4 lothario Steve Jones branded Vince Vaughn a ‘miserable bas****’ after it was claimed that the actor failed to play along with a gag the serial shagger made about Daniel Radcliffe being ‘out of control’. Vaughn took it all very seriously, perceiving a slight against all actors; he ended the interview after a rant that included the immortal blast against interviewers:
‘You come here with your cards, thinking you’re so smart…’
In the silence that followed, Jones was left to ponder how on Earth the actor ended up with a woman like Jennifer Aniston, and mocking the Swingers star’s ‘little half-finger’.
Lo and behold, reports from ‘friends’ emerged on the very same day claiming that Aniston’s current lover John Mayer is all fireworks in the bedroom – better than Vaughn, or even Brad Pitt (the headline ‘Brad’s The Pitt’s’ must be out there somewhere. Also, this casts a new light on the interview; perhaps Vaughn was already feeling inadequate, and the Welsh presenter’s reputation preceded him).
So, she has found someone better. Isn’t that neat? It’s nice to close a chapter there and then; nothing more need be said about either of them, ever – she’s happy and he’s a bit touchy. Brilliant. What other celebrities can be drawn a line under, then? Oh – hang on a minute. Apparently not.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 