FILM: Downey’s Holmes is a boiling ball of energy

Holmes is always a man of energy, both mental and physical. His more institutional brother Mycroft could be slothful and fat, but Holmes has always been a lithe ball of energy, and Robert Downey Jr plays him just this way. His Holmes is a man who lives with the boredom of seeing all, constantly pushing the boundaries of body and mind, be it in bare-knuckle boxing, drinking, or dosing the dog with anaesthetic. He has a logical understanding of the cause and effect of everything around him, something the plot attempts to challenge – but that’s not the key to the film.

The heart of Guy Ritchie’s exciting version of the story is the ‘marriage’ between Holmes and Watson, an endearing couple who bicker over who left the gas on, Holmes’s personal hygiene, and Watson’s choice of women. (Their situation is reminiscent of Joey and Chandler in Friends, when Chandler was moving to the suburbs.) In fact, Jude Law’s Watson is arguably more of a surprise than Downey’s Holmes. Gone is the familiar buffoon inherited from Nigel Bruce’s 1940s bumbler; Law’s Watson is Holmes’s more socially acceptable partner, the sharp, smiling public face, but a man with some demons sitting on his tailcoat. Given the strength of the Holmes character it’s nice to see Watson fleshed out so decently, no mean feat when you’re playing opposite Downey.

The weak point is the plot, which becomes too overblown and silly – that and the casting of Rachel McAdams (excellent as she is) as Irene Adler, Holmes’s femme fatale. (She is simply too young.) No, the film’s strength lies in its energy, and a diving sense of cinematography that pulls you into its earthy vision of London more effectively than the 3-D of A Christmas Carol, backing up the banter of its two leading men with a constant strive for what’s next. The first 45 minutes are brilliant fun, and the movie looks great, like the Wild West without the frontier, and furnished with some amazing costumes. Witness anything Adler or Holmes wear, Watson’s swish military dinner suit, and Lord Blackwood’s Gestapo trenchcoat.

The rest is up and down, but mostly up – great stuff with not a whiff of geezery Guy Ritchie-ness in sight. It left your correspondent walking slightly different, which is always a good sign.

Law ‘fathers Moon model army’

The actor Jude Law has been mating with Moon maidens, it was claimed last night. Speaking exclusively to News Hour, a source on the recent Turkmenistan Moon mission relayed footage that appeared to show the half-human offspring of the actor practising for careers in male modelling.

‘It was amazing’, said an onlooker. ‘The mini-Laws were striking moody poses on what looked like abandoned film sets, staring into the distance while fans blew their silk scarves behind them.’

Law, who recently sired his fourth Earth-based offspring, has long been suspected of preparing an army of inheritors on the dark side of the Moon. Reporters contacting his London citadel received no comment on the alleged ambitions of the Alfie star.

(Photo: Indian Nomad.)