President Obama has taken the Democrats’ defeat in Massachusetts as a sign that he fundamentally misunderstood his mandate from the people. ‘I need to do less for the country and more for myself. This defeat is a clear message from Americans of every race, colour and creed that their commander in chief needs some time to himself. And I will not disagree with that assessment.’
The President believes that the nation is concerned about him over-exerting himself, and that voters intended this defeat as a gentle nudge in the direction of Calvin Coolidge, the US President who famously slept for 23 hours a day – an hour longer than a koala.
Mr Obama is said to have plenty of projects ‘on the back burner’ that he’s been ‘meaning to get to for ages’. Examples include tidying the garage, mowing the lawn, and fixing a recurrent damp problem in the east wing. The President could not be reached for comment, although advisors noted that he had been ‘deep in consultation’ about the possibility of holding a yard sale after the lawn mowing was completed.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 