Councils ‘supplied bay leaves instead of salt’

Local governments refute road failure claims

LONDON, THURSDAY: A News Hour investigation has sensationally revealed the reason behind chronic council failures to grit roads during the recent British snow crisis. From secret memos exchanged between council heads, quangos and European Union representatives, it has emerged that a deal was struck to supply bay leaves instead of salt, a plan conceived as part of a Greek plot to hide overproduction of the cooking accessory in its outlying territories.

During the crisis, bay leaves were deployed by several London councils as ‘synergistic hardened precipitation elimination elements’ but ultimately caused several minor sprains and the death of three cats. Sources familiar with council operations claims that the Greek plot was facilitated by unclear supply forms that required the road gritting tools to be simply of ‘herb or spice related origin’. An internal investigation is due to be launched in the spring.