Readers who remember the happy if bizarre days of the Alvin And Chipmunks cartoon – in which a trio of fluffy animal popstars held the world in their inexplicable thrall – may have been surprised to learn that the thrillsome three have been resurrected for a new Christmas movie. The thankless straight man role of songwriter Dave is taken by Scientologist and My Name Is Earl star Jason Lee.
‘They came from nowhere, to become an overnight sensation’ intones the trailer to the film about the chipmunks’ return from the wilderness (perhaps literally?).
More troubling than their return, though, is the advertising – seen full out, the ad makes complete sense. The chipmunks have caused a terrible mess and Dave is the one who’s got to sort it out. Some kind of food slinging has occurred in the kitchen. But the cut-out variants, with a solitary chipmunk on Dave’s head and no background, make it look as if the pasta sauce from a food fight is a deep gash drawn across his forehead, possibly by a rogue chipmunk claw. It suggests a much darker narrative than one would expect – possibly along the lines of a Severance-style slashfest set in a corporate retreat, in which Dave finally cracks under the pressure, begins foaming at the mouth and slowly hunts his furry tormentors down, one by agonising one. (The audience would need special headgear to withstand the high pitched screams.)
Nonetheless, it is proving popular. Perhaps partly because of cult confusion caused by its curious ad campaign, the film has opened second to the all-conquering I Am Legend in the U.S. and Canada. As Legend surpassed December receipts for Tolkien finale Return Of The King, that is no mean feat. Indeed, star Will Smith’s new status, as supreme ass-kicker of Middle Earth, seems to have gone to his head. While in London the actor was initially keen to play down his ambitions, claiming that he was not cut out for working in theatreland – a rite of passage for many Hollywooders seeking to boost their credentials (to be fair, Ali did that). But then he made the classic mistake of saying Hitler wasn’t such a bad bloke, really – springing the same bear trap as Bryan Ferry and, more recently, Doctor Who supremo Russell T. Davies. What they say may well be taken out of context, but is that really the point? When will celebrities learn? They must simply enjoy a bit of baiting, or outside-the-box thinking.
Still, why does Hitler get all the love? Why is there none for Mussolini? The fat ugly secret of the Axis powers must be turning double time on that spit of shame in hell, the Devil taunting his lack of celebrity endorsement. ‘See? Not even Paris Hilton mentions your name!!’
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 