A tradition long thought dead in the political world was revived at the weekend, as the Labour MP David Blunkett was ceremonially hit by a cow. The tradition, which dates back to the time of the Napoleonic Wars, is thought to have begun as a concession to public opinion after the introduction of income tax during the period.
Mr Blunkett turned 62 at the weekend, placing him three years from retirement, the age at which politicians of the era would be challenged by a bovine to prove their continuing worthiness for public office. The former Home Secretary was said to have been ‘spoiling for a fight’ and had been engaged in a rigorous training regime. The bovine, a Friesian, had been imported from the Bailiwick of Guernsey as tradition dictates:
“Ye challynger shal stannd onn foure legs strong, bryght of udder and eye; she shal hayle from beyond yar sea; and back yarther she shal sayle.”
Political insiders speculate that the tradition – last invoked during the dying days of the Callaghan administration – may have been revived to restore faith in the government after weeks of scandal, and as part of a raft of new measures being introduced by Prime Minister Gordon Brown to reform the electoral system.
Sources close to Parliament suggest that other measures may include the reintroduction of stocks to punish errant ministers, as well as the use of a cherry picker to suspend expenses cheats over Parliament Square – where a supply of tomatoes will be provided for public pelting.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 