What a media circus the appointment of Fabio Capello as England manager has prompted. After the Sun’s tireless but fruitless campaign to usher the dashing José Mourinho into the big chair, now Capello is installed the creative editorial can roll out in force. The Star came out with a blinder yesterday, comparing the Italian to a dizzying array of celebrities, all the way from Tommy Cooper to Mr Burns from The Simpsons. He seems also to have triggered a mini-industry, with eerily convincing Capello lookalike Michael McElinney , an Irish builder who worked on Wembley stadium, now said to be able to command up to £350 per appearance. (Sky Sports even tried to interview him, apparently.) One wonders if an ‘A capello’ revival of Three Lions could be in the offing for the next World Cup campaign. Capello has said he will learn English – but one can only think it might be better to be oblivious, just enjoy the sounds, and rely on extravagant gestures instead.
Of a different and much lower order of attention was the result of the Liberal Democrat leadership contest, hotly contested between two men that most of the media seemed to have decided were identical. Even the party seemed largely undecided, with Clegg scoring victory by a narrow 1.2 per cent margin (the contest’s equivalent of hanging chads being provided by a delayed postal vote). A note of apathy was sounded the previous day by a press release issued by the office of Graham Watson MEP, received by The Times. This fulsome diplay of wholehearted support (for someone) read thus:
“X knows better than any other UK party leader how to harness the benefits of EU membership for the good of Britain”
A note that doubtless resulted in a press officer receiving a sound beating with a tweed whip. Confusion seemed to reign elsewhere, though. Nick Clegg made a stab at stamping his mark on the party, declaring that he doesn’t believe in God (most politicians just avoid the question, so you can’t fault him for being direct), and roping in Brian Eno, the 59-year-old Roxy Music keyboard supremo, to reach out to today’s youth. Mr Eno himself seemed perplexed at the appointment, and not 100 per cent clear as to how he might proceed:
“Because of what I do I have some sort of credibility with young people which means that they are probably willing to talk to me in a way they might not to others.”
That’s that settled then. How depressing it must be at Lib Dem HQ. We wonder if Clegg had his stationery orders in place long ago, ready to send out Christmas cards with his new position stamped proudly over the front.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 