Earth war chiefs launched a pre-emptive strike at the Man in the Moon yesterday, plunging a three tonne harpoon into an area around the Nasal Sea. The Man, 54, was said still to be reeling from the encounter, which is thought to be the first step in an invasion sparked by the revelation of precious minerals being stockpiled by the entity.
Said US Army General Winslow MacAction Force: “The man in the Moon has been stealing water from Earth to augment his own failing infrastructure. We need to act now before his plans can be revealed. The LACROSSE harpoon has given him a bloody nose, and something to think about.”
The American position on the Man is uncompromising, but he is thought to have developed close ties with the Russians in recent years, and the Kremlin has appeared far from supportive of US military action.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 