It can have escaped no-one’s notice that boar stories are all over the newspapers of late (well, in the briefing sections, at least), but what is the reason for this invasion? Were one to look back on it from the end of a post-apocalyptic science fiction movie, one would see it as a portent to the doom that would surely follow. Here is a praisee of boar activity over the Christmas period:
Once extinct in the isles, wild boars in Britain are running riot – the Forest Of Dean is rumoured to provide refuge for at least 100 of the mad, slathering beasts. Conservative MP Mark Harper is at the end of his tether with Defra’s inaction over the problem, saying it is time someone there ‘got a grip’ on the situation. The hairy menaces are also at home in the wilds of Dartmoor, and recently wandered onto the streets of Tavistock, happily mingling with festive shoppers in late December. One suspects that Mr Harper is now mere hours away from a vigilante killing spree.
Jump back before Christmas Day, and patrons of a French clothing store were unnerved by an enraged boar’s aggressive posturing, fleeing from the shop in their droves. Trigger-happy Poitiers police unloaded more than 30 rounds into the 190-pound animal before felling it. Two more boar were said to be at large. Elsewhere, the beasts caused travel chaos – delaying French TGV trains for hours after straying onto the tracks. In Germany, a sounder of boar attempted to cross an autobahn, causing several victimless crashes and shutting the road for an hour.
Could the beasts have been plotting some terrible takeover that didn’t happen? Are their plans still in motion? Is this part of some mass migration, new hibernation or mating habit?
Or was it all just a product of low news levels over the festive season? Only time will tell.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 