How many times do we have to say ‘recession’ for it to become real? Is it like Beetlejuice? Say his name three times and he appears, bringing destitution and negative equity into the world, forcing us all into rags. The media has been having an intensifying conversation with itself over whether or not it can get away with the ‘r’ word, settling for ‘recession fears’ or ‘fears of recession’ simply so this harbinger of doom can be included in a sentence. So, are we in one or not? It is probably beyond anyone to say. The standard definition of a recession is two consecutive quarters of negative growth, but sometimes the indicators can be so complex to calculate that one can be in the depths of it for months without anyone really knowing. Here is a more thorough examination.
One wonders how much effect it has on world markets that yesterday was mathematically ‘the most depressing day of the year’, according to the Samaritans – Blue Monday, in traditional parlance. Considering that stocks and shares are traded so much on the basis of confidence, which people in a fug rather tend to lack, could this be partially responsible? The stocks began their fall in the Asian markets – Black Monday, in financial terms – do Asian news sources tell them similar things about the day’s high potential for cliffjumping?
Surprisingly, the top two cities to have googled for ‘depression’ are in Australia – Melbourne and Sydney. The term could be related to economics too, of course – but the search pattern closely follows that traced by ‘therapy’ so it seems unlikely – while the country most concerned with ‘recession’ is Singapore (also the home of the biggest fixation on ‘sub prime’, just after India). The number of searches for recession skyrocketed at the end of 2007, after a report from Morgan Stanley forecast an American downturn.
(On a different note, it may surprise some readers to learn that searches for Madeleine McCann’ are most popular in Ireland, then South Africa. Given the relentless flow of news without any facts – the latest of which was a sketch of the attacker that resembled a feral George Harrison – it is not the front page pull it once was. The London Evening Standard now steers clear of Maddie front page news (at least, no-news news) due to its damaging effect on sales.)
This January depression fever may also explain the hysterical tone of some of the news coverage. The Independent, which appears to have abandoned any pretence at appearing to be a serious newspaper, splashes with a huge graphic of falling stocks overlaid by ‘CRASH’. To the right is a picture of a man in Y-fronts, the attached text promising a ‘brief history of men’s underwear’ – it is hard to find a more bipolar front page.
Celebrities have their own way of coping with this difficult time of year. The man once known as Puff Daddy – then P. Diddy, then Diddy (still P. Diddy in the UK due to legal reasons) – will combat the trials of the new year with a whole new attitude, or certainly a new name.
“I have always evolved and taken a different name each time. Right now I want to be Sean John because that’s where I am right now.”
As this is two thirds what he was named at birth, does this mean that the Diddyman is at last comfortable with himself? Either that or he has evolved into a finely tailored jacket and slacks – ‘Sean John’ is the name of his sartorial brand (‘It’s not just a label…’ whispers the website – how very true). Still, perhaps the markets can learn from this one-man brand and rename themselves in line with their ‘evolution’. How about the Happy Smiley index of 100 leading shares? Or the Good Returns Guaranteed Industrial Average… it’ll be a whole new era.
News hour, with Jerry Caesar 